He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.
One day God called to Satan to mock him, "so, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."
"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and ansered, "Yeah, right. Just where do you think YOU are going to get a lawyer?"
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The college frat boy invited over a couple of his friends after drinking, late one night. As he gave them the tour, he led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass
gong and a mallet.
'What's with that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked. 'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend. 'Yup,' replied the drunk.
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it. 'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You asshole.....it's three-fifteen in the morning!'
gong and a mallet.
'What's with that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked. 'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend. 'Yup,' replied the drunk.
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it. 'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You asshole.....it's three-fifteen in the morning!'
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch!"
So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.
"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast!"
"You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.
"Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have?"
"50 cents."
So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.
"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast!"
"You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.
"Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have?"
"50 cents."
Saturday, March 21, 2009
as it's easter
What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?
“Its gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick.”
“Its gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick.”
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